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...nutso. But many will confront you saying, "Just what do you think you're doing?" (I've heard that in some cities, putting coins in the meter in front of a stranger's car is actually illegal!)
Be careful! Reciprocity can backfire! The Scientologists have a word for reciprocity gone too far. They call it, "out exchange." When you are "out exchange," one of the parties has given far more than the other, creating ill feelings, not in the one who gave but in the one who was unable to give proportionately return.
You've known people who want to be martyrs. "Don't worry about me. Let me do this for you," they whine as they give and give and make you painfully aware of their sacrifice. Do you feel more love for them? No! Being "out exchange" makes you angry! So be careful to play reciprocity to the finish. And the finish is always allowing your customer or partner to reciprocate by doing something for you, like buy or tell someone about your wonderful product or service or give you the name of another potential customer.
Vacuum cleaner salespeople have recognized reciprocity for years. One salesperson I know loved to have customers treat him rudely. These, he said, were the ones most likely to give him a referral since his gracious handling of their lack of manners instilled a need to make amends by giving him a list of their friends most likely to buy.
The secret to creating reciprocity is to give some thing or some service that is of just the right size. Not too big, not too small but juuuusssst right!
After the sale is often the very best time to create reciprocity. Send a small gift, write a simple thank you card, call to see if the product or service has met the customer's needs and you create a final sweet impression that transcends the other part of the deal.
At our restaurant we used to call folks to whom we had delivered that day to ask how everything was. That created reciprocity tension of the simplest kind. Customers would tell their friends that we had taken the time to inquire about a four dollar delivery order. "Incredible service," they would say as they relieved their reciprocity tension by telling someone how nice we were!
Perhaps the best form of reciprocity creation is described by the Cajuns as "lagniappe" which means "a little something extra." Say you negotiate a big deal, or even a little one for that matter. You have carefully agreed on price and product. But when you deliver, you deliver a little something extra. That creates reciprocity tension of the best kind.
Two wheeler-dealers negotiate to the last nickel but the winner will be the one who delivers as promised and then throws in something totally unexpected. That turns heads but most importantly, it moves tongues and creates a tension for reciprocity that far exceeds the original deed when it is time to deal again.
Reciprocity creates greater value for the giver than for the receiver.
Reciprocity has one other important feature. It is the smallest part of the transaction but it is the most memorable - and talked about - part of the deal. You bought a $220,000 house with features and benefits out the wazoo and what do you talk about? The funny soap dish the Realtor gave you for the bathroom.
I was looking for a perfect example to give here and couldn't think of one to save my soul. When I looked through my notes, I realized I was holding one!
A few months ago I spoke to the National Art Materials Trade Association and met an interesting couple who had an even more interesting product. It's a refillable notebook, really cool, with paper refills and a neat cover that looks like it will last forever. I really wanted one when I saw it at the trade show. But this show, like most, did not allow retail sales so I drooled and decided to purchase one at the first opportunity.
When I called the association for another reason, I decided on a whim to ask for the phone number of the folks at Inspiral. I then called to ask for a list of retailers who sold their products and the owner picked up the phone.
"Are you the guy we met in Toronto? The speaker who talked about Positively Outrageous Service?"
"That's me! I love your notebooks and just have to find out who sells them so I can get one."
"Well, you gave us such a wonderful mention in your talk, I've been wanting to send you one just to say thanks!"
That's reciprocity all right.
I really go out of my way to keep folks from giving me special treatment just for doing my job but Mike insisted and I gave in.
Now, I own everything I could possibly want, except apparently, an Inspiral notebook. It's the darndest thing but for days I would volunteer to walk out for the mail hoping that my notebook would be waiting. In about a week, there it was. I opened the package and beamed like a two-year-old at Christmas. My notebook, complete with an extra refill! I was thrilled.
And now I have to tell everyone about it.
As Yoggi Berra would say, "Reciprocity all over again!"
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